Psychopolitik 2.0

The US Senate recently voted by a wide margin to excuse the phone companies that co-operated with the warrantless surveillance program, and to turn the FISA rules on their head.  Yet, every cable news channel is simulcasting Congress discussing Roger Clemens’ alleged steroid use.  Why?

-How come when the local news reports a major prostitution ring bust, the girls caught are universally fugly? I’d think at least a couple would be attractive enough where the average guy might conceivably think “yeah, I’d pay to have sex with her”.

-Y’know how the cliche goes that a sign you’re old is when you reminisce about how music used to be good “back in tha day”? How young is too early to feel like that?

-On a related note to the last one, is it ironic or hypocritical to feel that music-wise the 80’s sucked, yet like a band that deliberately goes “retro” to 80’s shit? I’m listening right now to the band that did this, for example.

-Why aren’t there any restaurants that deliver fried chicken (at least none I know of)?

-I wonder how much the graphic guys get paid to make CNN headquarters look like a holodeck from some lame sci-fi every election season…

-Why do songs on rock stations get to say “bitch” unbleeped when rap songs can’t?

-Am I the only one who thinks the uniform look at retail stores makes it look like the people who work there are part of a cult?

-What did people in medieval times jerk off to?

-Ganja brownies. Ganja butter. Yet no marijuana marinara that I’ve heard of. Why not?

-What do muslims say when someone sneezes?

-On a more serious note, I wonder who the first person in recorded history to torture someone for info was…

-Re: the fashion industry: why are the standards of female beauty as far as clothing determined by gay men?

-How come there aren’t notes on packages of ink pens estimating how long they’d last w/ regular use? Whether cheap or relatively expensive, or different brands, doesn’t seem to matter, they go out whenever the hell they feel like going out.

-Re: pet food: whoever first commercialized the concept, how’d they come up with it? It just seems kinda odd to me that for so long animals ate whatever, and all of a sudden someone thought “maybe dogs & cats need X, Y & Z in their diets”. The observation behind the transition from tossing Rover a steak to getting him a bag of Kibbles & Bits seems odd to me for some reason.

-Is it just me, or does everything sound better drunk?

Callin’ it as you see it: still taboo:

Angered by an MSNBC correspondent’s demeaning comment about Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton’s daughter, aides to her presidential campaign said Friday that she might pull out of a debate planned by the cable network this month in Cleveland.

Howard Wolfson, Clinton’s communications director, cast as “beneath contempt” an on-air comment Thursday by MSNBC’s David Shuster, who said Chelsea Clinton is “sort of being pimped out” as she intensifies her campaigning for her mother.

NBC News announced Friday afternoon that Shuster had been suspended indefinitely over the remark, which a release called “irresponsible and inappropriate.”

Well damn, the way she’s reacting makes it seem like she doesn’t understand what that remark means.  Those kind of terms are rather common now — “media whore”, using “pimpish” as a synonym of cool, to customization of an item being described as “pimping” it (I distinctly recall seeing once at a bookstore while walking past the magazine rack a cover reference to “pimp your stroller” on a magazine for expectant & new mothers.  Seriously.) — so it’s not like he was saying they’re having Chelsea have sex with strangers for money.  They asked her to offer herself up on the campaign trail on her mother’s behalf, she accepted, where’s the offense in the description?

Sure, Hillary is probably thinking of this as an example of bias or something, like if they’ll say this about her then she can’t get a “fair” shot.  Hilarious, since prior to the actual voting the mainstream media spin was that she was The Inevitable.  Another thing she leaves out of her irrational stab at victimhood:

Shuster apologized Friday morning on MSNBC for the term he applied to Chelsea. He issued a second apology on the MSNBC show “Tucker,” where he had uttered his comment while acting as guest host.

Hillary Clinton’s campaign staff has been critical of what it considers a hostile attitude toward her in MSNBC’s coverage, and the Shuster incident brought matters to a head. […]

Last month, another MSNBC talk show host, Chris Matthews, apologized after suggesting Clinton owed her political success to her husband’s philandering. “The reason she may be a front-runner [in the presidential race] is her husband messed around,” Matthews said on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe.” (emphasis mine)

At the time David Shuster made the comment that Hillary is so angry about, he was acting as guest host on “Tucker”.  That show is not meant to be a straight-up news show, focusing more on analysis and discussion.  Tucker Carlson is not expected to be unbiased, so whoever fills in for him is also not expected to be either, since otherwise the entire point of the show changes — this would be the reason why when  over on CNN Lou Dobbs goes off on vacation to have the stick reinstalled up his ass, one of the random morning anchors doesn’t take it over.  Chris Matthews likes to occupy a grey area where he sometimes poses as a mere journalist, but his main duty to MSNBC is “Hardball”, a show where he discusses topics with guests & shares his own opinion.   So, if she sees their comments as failing their alleged duty to be neutral, detached observers, the only reasonable reply would be “well no duh, Hillary.  You want a cookie?”

My personal view is that neutrality is a fairy tale.  Everyone has their opinions, no matter how mundane or sloppily thought out, and unless all you report is the weather, you’re going to have some sort of built-in spin to it.  Acknowledging the bias makes it a lot easier to filter out and judge for yourself, whereas pretending none exists just writes it deeper into the story.  Besides, no one in politics actually wants an honest portrayal of themselves, they want as much glowing praise as possible, Hillary’s definition of neutrality would probably look like ass-kissing to Obama, and vice versa.  Realize you’re expecting the sky to rain candy and shut up.

While flipping through channels waiting for either Duke vs North Carolina or a new Mythbusters, caught Bill O’Reilly in his “talking points” recommend to McCain that he fill his VP slot w/ Condi.  Think about the myriad layers of Crazy you have to get through before you see any kind of logic behind that remark…

Marion for Shaq is the dumbest trade I’ve ever seen. First I can recall that actually makes both teams WORSE. Think about it:

-Who’s going to play center on the Heat? Would Marion be the new 1st option on offense, or would he be 2nd banana to Wade? If they sign-’n'-trade after the season, who the hell do they think they’ll be able to get?
-Who honestly thinks Shaq can play the Suns’ style? If they slow down to accomodate him, wouldn’t that make Nash a liability overnight? Sure Stoudamire has been playing the 5 at the size of a 4, but considering his numbers in that situation why change it? And seriously folks, WTF compels someone to get rid of a player who is damn near a guaranteed double-double every night AND has three point range? Marion was basically the 2nd coming of Barkley, except w/ the extra 30 pounds swapped out for Pippen-esque smothering defense, and they’re moving him for someone who is pretty much nailed to the floor these days.

Even if they insisted on getting rid of Marion, Marcus Camby* would’ve been a better fit. He’s a veteran too, but still much quicker than O’Neal, and already plays the interior enforcer role that they’re expecting of Shaq, so there’d be no chance at all of him bitching about not getting the ball enough — hell, he’s playing with Iverson right now, you can’t be selfish with that dude on the floor with you. This is so far into Stupid-with-a-capital-S territory that their GMs must be on crack, if Shaq passes that physical and the trade goes through, I’m not changing the roster on 2k8 to reflect it, fuck that.

(* - I’m not even pretending to know the salary cap stuff.  I say this because it would make sense, not because I think it’s financially plausible.  One thing is for sure: Miami had better draft a fucking Center after this season ends.) 

Bush, via Michael Hayden: “Ok, we used waterboarding!  Look on the BRIGHT side, people!”:

U.S. President George W. Bush authorized the CIA to give its most detailed public account of its use of a widely condemned interrogation technique known as waterboarding, the White House said on Wednesday.

CIA Director Michael Hayden testified before Congress on Tuesday that government interrogators used waterboarding, often described as simulated drowning, on three suspects captured after the Sept. 11 attacks of 2001.

Hayden’s admission, the first time a U.S. official publicly disclosed the number of people subjected to waterboarding and named them, drew calls for a criminal investigation. Critics worldwide condemn waterboarding as torture, but the Bush administration has refused to define it as such.

“The president authorized Gen. Hayden to say what he said in the testimony yesterday,” White House spokesman Tony Fratto told reporters.

Bush’s decision to allow testimony on waterboarding, a major shift from his policy of keeping it under wraps, was prompted by heated public debate and a consensus in the administration on the need “to be very clear about how those techniques were used and what the benefits were,” Fratto said. (emphasis mine)

If whether or not there were “benefits” to waterboarding was the issue, then the discussion would be about alternate techniques.  No one out there is criticizing waterboarding because pulling out fingernails is more effective, or because it wastes water, the entire point is whether or not a nation that does that kind of shit is throwing away what they claim to be protecting by doing it.  So far, no one believes that it’s an acceptable tactic besides the talking head types that would gladly torture anyone to the left of Attila the Hun.  For them to use this strategy to defend it sounds like the old saying that particularly dumb children would share with each other when arguing about drinking household cleaners: “How do ya know it’s bad, you never tried it!”.

Hah-Hah!!!