I will be struck by lightning and survive, twice, while simultaneously standing on my head perched atop a fencepost and holding the jackpot tickets for both Powerball AND Mega Millions, before anyone — ANYONE!! — with the last name “Bush” wins any position in the US higher than dogcatcher again. I don’t care if it’s 2026 & it’s Reggie Bush running for mayor of New Orleans after having suddenly rattled off a career of beyond-a-doubt Hall of Fame numbers & multiple Super Bowl rings AND MVP awards, during which he donates virtually his entire NFL salary to local charities, in the time between now & then. Even if on top of all that at one point during his campaign he were to rush into a burning building and carry out disabled children trapped inside. Nah.Gan.Ha.Pen.
Now that that is out of the way, go play outside.
