Basically because I was super bored, I took the initiative in live-tweeting the 2012 Vice-presidential debate. I share, verbatim, what I had to say for those of you who don’t tweet.
A warning: heard of “drunk-blogging”? This is drunk-tweeting. What little filters I may have when blogging are completely gone when it comes to this. If not for the drinks I probably never would’ve done this. It helps for context to read from bottom up as you read the transcript from the debate chronologically.
Okay? Ready? Here, as I said it, is what I had to say about the 2012 vice presidential debate:
****begin transcript****
b psycho
Winner: ppl who didn’t fucking watch this.
38m b psycho
Who should lead this country? Nobody. Nobody cares. Nobody will fight for you. Nobody will listen.
40m b psycho
We got problems the state can’t fix. #realtalk.
41m b psycho
This phone needs 2 learn that I say fuck a lot. And fast.
42m b psycho
“devastating cuts to the military”… Fuck. You.
44m b psycho
Really, Joe? Civil liberty at home is beneath armaments?
45m b psycho
Unless I see 100 bucks in my account by then, i’m not doing this again.
46m b psycho
Oh yeah, cuz netflix doesn’t have the original A Better Tomorrow yet. That’s why.
47m b psycho
…why the fuck did I do this?
49m b psycho
Employer control needs to die. Period.
50m b psycho
Re: church & birth control: don’t blame Obama, blame FDR.
51m b psycho
I’m pro-choice because I do not have a vagina.
51m b psycho
Motherfucker, CIA agents were on ground in Libya! They’d be there in intervention in Syria.
53m b psycho
Great, u.s. backing of Syrian opposition. That’d ramp up the murdering, moron.
54m b psycho
…what credibility?
55m b psycho
I’m a lefty, but fuck the u.n.
55m b psycho
…did Ryan just blame Russia, or am I just too fucked up?
56m b psycho
GM, solyndra, Libya, Syria…same thing!
57m b psycho
…so Joe is basically defending playing venture capitalist w/r/t foreign civil wars.
59m b psycho
She wants an invasion of Syria…
59m b psycho
“lets move to another war”. Moderator. Verbatim.
1h b psycho
How many contractors are still out there?
1h b psycho
Disclaimer: I am drunk.
1h b psycho
Uk, Australia, Israel…who else, really? Turkey, maybe?
1h b psycho
“49 of our allies”…the u.s. gov’t has 49 allies!?
1h b psycho
Gary & Jill needed to have their running mates here.
1h b psycho
Karzai is probably good as dead once 2014 rolls around.
1h b psycho
Faster please.
1h b psycho
Way to make a $ stretch: drink malt liquor halfway, refill with #craftbeer.
1h b psycho
I wonder what future blowback we’re seeding.
1h b psycho
Afghanistan? Leave. They don’t want us there.
1h b psycho
Psst…Ryan? Biggest fucking shares of govt are “defense” and SS/Medicare.
1h b psycho
Great, now I’m sneezing.
1h b psycho
That said…mortgage tax deduction. That pushed a lot of the string.
1h b psycho
Joe I don’t see you closing that one so shut up about it.
1h b psycho
20% tax cut+defense increase means debt. No fucking way around it.
1h b psycho
State benefit largely goes 2 finance & mega-business.
1h b psycho
To clarify: rather not have state at all. Q is who pays and who benefits long as it is here.
1h b psycho
Shit, if we’re just talking dueling interest groups, cut my fucking taxes!
1h b psycho
…unless they pay capital gains.
1h b psycho
Biden: “millionaires will pay more”.
1h b psycho
Private equals “you can even pocket it if you want”. That wasn’t Bush, & isn’t Romney.
1h b psycho
Bush plan on SS was more like financialization. Not really private.
1h b psycho
Decent Biden point #2. Now how cheap would drugs be without patents? Even better!
1h b psycho
We do a lot 4 the old regardless of income. The poor regardless of age? Not so much…
1h b psycho
Think I can piss and come back b4 they change topics? Place your bets!
1h b psycho
Ok, y’all can stop calling Ryan a deficit hawk now…
1h b psycho
Same critique of solyndra applies to big oil.
1h b psycho
Gee, for such an all-purpose boogeyman we sure trade a lot w/ China…
1h b psycho
Re: Biden on Iraq on credit card: he voted in favor of the war.
1h b psycho
Do they do commercial breaks? I been drinkin already.
1h b psycho
Upward mobility would require resurrection of labor.
1h b psycho
Anecdote propping up drill baby drill.
1h b psycho
“energy independence”? DRINK!
1h b psycho
Btw: Wtf happened to the poor? Do poor ppl just not exist?
1h b psycho
She should ask them to define middle class.
1h b psycho
Ok, Biden made good point for once. 47% shit is, well, shit.
1h b psycho
Way they talk you would think Israel didn’t have nukes.
1h b psycho
Yeah Ryan, what the green revolution needed was u.s. backing. Brilliant.
1h b psycho
Iran isn’t isolated. They have Iraq as an ally now.
1h b psycho
Fuck the ayatollahs though. The ppl there see sanctions fucking them & *not* the regime.
1h b psycho
Ryan, the ayatollahs see you & the other dwarves threatening invasion.
1h b psycho
Look, I can’t stand the state of Georgia. Would blocking them off make them complacent, or more pissed?
1h b psycho
If you want Iran to pursue nukes, keep threatening to attack.
1h b psycho
No, Iran is not a great threat to the US.
1h b psycho
Great, the moderator is a neocon…
1h b psycho
BTW: weren’t there al-Qaeda elements w/ the side we backed in Libya?
1h b psycho
I *wish* there were huge war cuts coming, that’d be a start…
1h b psycho
WHAT “defense” CUTS YOU FUCKING LIAR??
***end transcript***
If you want me to attempt this with the next presidential debate, hit up one of those buttons over there —–>
